Today we left the Tetons, and headed to a BMW dealer south of Salt Lake City. We stopped for breakfast in Jackson, WY, as in Jackson Hole. The wealth in Jackson is uncomfortable, after seeing mostly trailers and small farm houses for hundreds of miles in the rest of Wyoming. It is gorgeous though, and we really enjoyed a nice breakfast at The Bunnery.
I am not really sure what I thought people would think of us every time we pull into town, but it is clear they are thinking something. We almost always draw stares from whoever is around and sees us in full riding gear, and I think I draw more stares than Mike does. Maybe they are wondering why we are wearing long pants and jackets in this heat. Maybe they think we are on a cool adventure. Maybe we are a set of rare strangers showing up in a small roadside town. Maybe they have never seen a woman riding a bike, much less a bike like mine.
When we got into Jackson we were greeted by a woman who grabbed me by the arm and asked where we were riding from. I told her Boston, and her jaw dropped like it often does when we tell people that, and laughed and said how amazing she thought it was. Then she asked if my husband was with me, and I pointed to him. She realized then that there were two bikes, not one, and was impressed that I wasn't riding on the back of his bike. She asked if he was dragging me along like this, and I said no, if anything he is here because of me and not the other way around. Mike came over, and she told him how lucky he was to have a wife like me, and leaned in to him and asked him if he agreed that I needed counseling. Mike and I both smiled, and said that I probably did have a screw loose.
I guess she had all of the reactions that I had wondered if people might be having, and I am not sure what to make of it. I was, of course, aware of the stereotypes I am breaking on this trip before we started the trip. We joked with Rob before we left that if I did a ride report on ADVRider.com of this trip and I was alone that I would get way more comments than if Mike and I did it together, and that would get more comments than if Mike did it alone. Why is it more impressive that I am doing this than that Mike is doing it? Why do people assume I am riding on the back of his bike, and why is it so impressive that I am on my own bike (I am on my own bike because feminism)? Why do people assume this is a trip of Mike's choosing and not mine? Why does it make me a little crazy to be breaking these gender norms?
All of these questions are coupled with the fact that I am a less experienced and competent rider than Mike is, though I have improved considerably since we started. When he gives me advice I am at once thankful for the opportunity to learn and resentful that it puts him in a mentorship role and me in a student role. I know being the student doesn't mean that I am weaker, but I can't help but feel like I am fulfilling my gender role (and not breaking gender norms as much as I might wish). I also don't like riding in front of him or other male riders, and I don't think I am the only woman to feel this way. I am afraid that if I make a mistake, that it will only serve to confirm the stereotype that women are less competent drivers and riders. This means that he is doing the navigating most of the time. I make the choice to have him lead, but then resent that I am following.
Stereotype confirmation was a problem even when Mike and I were taking our motorcycle safety course. I was one of two women in the class, and the other woman kept dropping her bike. I was racked with anxiety trying not to screw up anything, which of course made me a poorer rider and student. By the end of the two day class I was exhausted.
I am not sure how to put this all in a package yet, so it is still messy and unsourced. Maybe it will never fit it into a package.
-Naomi
I am not really sure what I thought people would think of us every time we pull into town, but it is clear they are thinking something. We almost always draw stares from whoever is around and sees us in full riding gear, and I think I draw more stares than Mike does. Maybe they are wondering why we are wearing long pants and jackets in this heat. Maybe they think we are on a cool adventure. Maybe we are a set of rare strangers showing up in a small roadside town. Maybe they have never seen a woman riding a bike, much less a bike like mine.
When we got into Jackson we were greeted by a woman who grabbed me by the arm and asked where we were riding from. I told her Boston, and her jaw dropped like it often does when we tell people that, and laughed and said how amazing she thought it was. Then she asked if my husband was with me, and I pointed to him. She realized then that there were two bikes, not one, and was impressed that I wasn't riding on the back of his bike. She asked if he was dragging me along like this, and I said no, if anything he is here because of me and not the other way around. Mike came over, and she told him how lucky he was to have a wife like me, and leaned in to him and asked him if he agreed that I needed counseling. Mike and I both smiled, and said that I probably did have a screw loose.
I guess she had all of the reactions that I had wondered if people might be having, and I am not sure what to make of it. I was, of course, aware of the stereotypes I am breaking on this trip before we started the trip. We joked with Rob before we left that if I did a ride report on ADVRider.com of this trip and I was alone that I would get way more comments than if Mike and I did it together, and that would get more comments than if Mike did it alone. Why is it more impressive that I am doing this than that Mike is doing it? Why do people assume I am riding on the back of his bike, and why is it so impressive that I am on my own bike (I am on my own bike because feminism)? Why do people assume this is a trip of Mike's choosing and not mine? Why does it make me a little crazy to be breaking these gender norms?
All of these questions are coupled with the fact that I am a less experienced and competent rider than Mike is, though I have improved considerably since we started. When he gives me advice I am at once thankful for the opportunity to learn and resentful that it puts him in a mentorship role and me in a student role. I know being the student doesn't mean that I am weaker, but I can't help but feel like I am fulfilling my gender role (and not breaking gender norms as much as I might wish). I also don't like riding in front of him or other male riders, and I don't think I am the only woman to feel this way. I am afraid that if I make a mistake, that it will only serve to confirm the stereotype that women are less competent drivers and riders. This means that he is doing the navigating most of the time. I make the choice to have him lead, but then resent that I am following.
Stereotype confirmation was a problem even when Mike and I were taking our motorcycle safety course. I was one of two women in the class, and the other woman kept dropping her bike. I was racked with anxiety trying not to screw up anything, which of course made me a poorer rider and student. By the end of the two day class I was exhausted.
I am not sure how to put this all in a package yet, so it is still messy and unsourced. Maybe it will never fit it into a package.
-Naomi